12 Tips for how to relax just minutes before you speak

by Carole McMichaels

You're sitting there waiting to speak. You feel the tension creeping into your shoulders, your thighs. Your stomach tightens up. Maybe your mouth gets dry. And the confidence and enthusiasm you felt a minute ago starts wobbling.

Now's the time to get up from wherever you are, excuse yourself and head for any place (even the restroom) where you can have five minutes alone. That's really all you need--just those few minutes to do these easy exercises and get your blood flowing, your muscles unlocked and your confidence back in place.

Your body, your vocal cords, your brain are all connected in such a manner that tension in one affects the others and makes it difficult to focus on your message. This is not news to you, right? You may already have noticed that if your knees are quaking, your voice may be shaking, and your memory may be forsaking you!

What you want to do is break that connection, which only reinforces the discomfort, in as many ways as you can so that every part of you is supporting, rather than sabotaging your presentation.

If you can spend five minutes in a room by yourself just before you speak, do these simple exercises: (If you can't, scroll down; there's help for you, too.)

• Stretch your body up and around, and gently bend over.
• Take some good deep belly breaths. Make your ribs and back work.
• Stretch your face into funny shapes to get it loose and relaxed.
• Make your eyebrows go way up, and your eyes open very wide.
• Sigh deeply several times.
• Hum.
• Stick your tongue out.
• Do tongue trills.
• Pant. (This is particularly effective to release any tension around your middle.)
• Flop--really flop--over as far as you can easily. Be sure your head flops all the way down. Holding your neck and head up creates more tension and is counterproductive!)
• Smile.
• Remind yourself that you are going to enjoy yourself while you're being terrific!

Now, if you're at the head table, or firmly planted on the stage or elsewhere, and haven't a chance of escaping before you speak, there are still things you can do to keep your body from freezing in place. Depending on your situation, you can use one of these breathing relaxers:

• Inhale for a slow count of one, exhale for a slow count of two. It's easy to look as though you're listening attentively to someone while you do this.
• If you can get away with it, double the counts to two and four. (Best not to allow your eyes to glaze over.)
• Wiggle your toes.

If you're lucky enough that the tablecloth extends to the floor, you're in good shape!

• Wiggle you toes. Do tiptoes. Circle your ankles.
• Put your hands under the table and wiggle your fingers and circle your wrists.
• No matter how long or short the tablecloth is, SMILE!

If you're in handcuffs, footcuffs, headcuffs and bellybuttoncuffs you may be out of luck. However, there's always Imagining! Science is telling us that our brains cannot distinguish between a real and a fancied experience. So fancy for all you're worth! What've you got to lose?