Building confidence

by Joan Kulmala

Speakers who exhibit confidence attract attention. They seem to radiate a higher level of energy and enthusiasm. It’s like they have a guardian angel guiding them forward. Some may call it luck. However, if you examine a little deeper, you will find that they will tell you their build up of confidence did not happen over night. It took time and patience to develop.

With each step taken along the way, a fiber of the fabric you become is woven. Some may find it to be an easy process, while other will encounter more challenges along the way.

To become more confident follow these few basic techniques.

Determine your confidence level. Is there room for improvement?

Develop an action list. Make two columns labeled pros and cons – how do you perceive your level of confidence? See what needs to be strengthened and be prepared to address it.

Align yourself with positive people. These individuals have a contagious effect on others. Their level of energy and belief in what they are doing is definitely motivating and inspirational. They have a ‘can do’ attitude. There has to be a better way to get things accomplished and they go for it.

Let experience be your teacher. On a daily basis take time to analyze how things could be improved. How positive was your thinking? Was there a different approach that could have been taken?

Listen and look for new opportunities. As you develop your confidence, think creatively, and use a little ingenuity. Do not be afraid to explore out side the box. It can be both exhilarating, and exciting.

Avoid stressful situations. Learn to relax, deep breath, and master the art of tactfully dealing with difficult situations involving family, clients, or colleagues. Stepping Out! Try leaving your troubles on the doorstep. Stress is not a healthy thing and could cause further problems both physically and emotionally. For some, stress in certain situations may be the motivating factor to overcome any obstacles. With a strong level of confidence you will be able to take action and meet the challenge.

Set the tone for your day. In the morning when your feet hit the floor from your bed, predetermine your attitude for that day. If you are awakened by a radio alarm clock, do not set it to start on the hour or half- hour. First breaking news is usually something with doom and gloom attached. Try setting it five or ten minutes to the hour/half hour, and listen to the music. As you begin your day, interaction with family members should be uplifting and enjoyable.

Find something positive in the negative. It’s o.k. to be critical but do it in a constructive way. Look for a different approach to dealing with the more challenging portions of your day. How can you make it better? There has to be a better way!

Be patient. Taking the first step is always frightening and often intimidating. Keep focus, look ahead and never stop trying. You are building confidence with each step that you take. Be patient and learn from the experience.

Dare to laugh and find a little humour in what you do, say or experience each day.

Take control of your attitude. A higher power gave you your mind. You are in charge of taking control and steering it in the right direction.

The old saying “you can not give a smile away…it always comes back ” is so true. It is a very good feeling to have touched someone in some small way, be it with a complement, a simple smile or handshake. It feels even better if you do not expect anything in return. Try surprising others today - as you step up to speak, radiate a little of your confidence. It’s worth the effort!