Fear of frying - end public speaking fear forever!

by John Tillison

You wonder where you went wrong. You worked hard. You never cheated the company. You always kept your nose clean. Yet the boss has just handed you a one-way ticket to hell - you've been asked to give a speech.

Sooner or later most of us feel the heat. Maybe we're asked to give a presentation at work, chair a meeting or propose a toast at a friend's wedding. The moment we stand to speak, our brain blows a fuse. Sparks fly and smoke fills the cranium. An otherwise intelligent adult suddenly mutates into a quivering mass of pointless pulp.

This is why many of us would rather sit on the sidelines and live a less than passion-filled life. It's safer. As Jerry Seinfeld says, most would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy. And he's right! Public speaking scares the pie out of people.

However the real meat and potatoes benefit of public speaking is not about giving flowery talks. It's about learning to fly. Let's explain.

The fear of failure, the fear of making a mistake or of being judged, is a shared condition of the human race. That same fear will keep you in a box that marks the borders of your life. Fear will prevent you from taking a chance, betting on yourself or trying a new adventure. In a word, fear keeps you grounded. But the quintessential shortcut for gaining unlimited confidence is through gutsy public speaking.

But how do you get to that "gutsy" point?

To answer that, let's look at someone who is the epitome of confidence: the airline pilot. Here is a person who is seemingly in total control of every situation. Calm and confidant, a perfect picture of composure. Was he or she born that way? Of course not.

Every captain now flying was once a bungling student with butterflies, doubts and sweaty palms. Just like the first-time speaker, his or her first solo wasn't great. But after sweating out a number of botched landings, their confidence blossomed. With practice, they became addicted to this new aerial freedom.

The same dynamics hold true for public speaking. At first you're shaking like a leaf. "What if I blank out? What if they laugh? What if I crash and burn?" Although your heart may pound, and your palms might sweat, the feeling is unmistakable. You've cheated death...and panic. You're flush with freedom and confidence flies!

To help you rocket even higher with your next presentation, consider the following cockpit lessons to reduce nervousness and give you the fluidity and finesse you need to give a dynamic presentation.

1. Let go!

The one thing that adversely affects pilot performance more than any other issue is chocking up. When the knuckles turn white, I tell the student to do something seemingly contrary to safe flying. I tell the pilot to let go! Let go of the controls all together. The airplane (and student) instantly regain equilibrium.

The dynamic is the same at the lectern. It's long been document that it is almost impossible to feel fear or pain when the muscles are in a state of perfect relaxation. The next time you approach the lectern, "pilotize" yourself. In other words put yourself in a loose-as-a-goose state of total relaxation. Let go of the controls and you will see immediate improvement with your presentations.

2. Simulate

To keep skills up (and flying costs down) I implore the student to simulate successful flights in advance. We call it "armchair flying". That is, sitting quietly somewhere in your home and calmly simulating every flight detail in the theater of the mind.

Be it flying or speaking, the key is clarity. The more vivid you see yourself giving a compelling but effort-free, relaxed speech, the more you will find that vision becoming a reality. Every cutting edge industry now uses state-of-the-art simulation to attain peak performance both in its people and its products. Be sure to use your "state-of-the-art" brain to induce a high degree of mental virtual reality before every speech.

3. Debrief

No pilot instructor would think of ending a flight training session without a thorough debrief. What went right? What went wrong? What could be improved? This should go double for public speaking. Therefore, after any speech you give, resist the temptation to simply rate your performance and call it a day. Instead, sit down and carefully analyze what worked, what didn't, and how you could improve the next delivery.

Take notes. Record all the components you were dealing with - the audience, the occasion, time of day, and length of speech. Play with different scenarios. Debriefing notes will allow you to better analyze how your performance might be enhanced for the next speech and allow you to review these components in preparation for your next talk.

If you integrate these "cockpit lessons" into your presentations, you will find yourself quickly gaining confidence, clarity, and climbing to new public speaking heights you never thought possible!